I haven’t been pregnant for very long, but from what I’ve observed and experienced so far of pregnancy, it is definitely a marathon, not a sprint. And the journey is sometimes wonderful, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, and sometimes gross, but always 100% bewildering – at least for this Mom-to-be.
Here are a few random things I’ve been ruminating over this week:
- My OB’s love life must seriously suck. Seriously, being single and living in New York City is already difficult enough, but single, living in New York, AND a obstetrician?! *Shudder* The only men and women you’re likely to encounter all day are either married and/or expecting a child. And I would imagine looking at babies coming out of women’s hoo-hahs all day can put a serious damper on your sex drive. I’m not even sure if I want J to be anywhere near my lady parts during the birth of Baby Z, much less want either of us to witness “the miracle of life” over and over again, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. The horror.
- Why isn’t Mother’s Day called Labor Day instead? It’s certainly more descriptive of the agony mothers have to go through to bring life to this planet.
- Having a baby is basically like handing over a blank check to society. People and services try to sell first-time parents anything and everything – and parents almost always buy because we’ve convinced ourselves that the more we purchase, the better parents we are/will be. I recently had a friend of mine (a new mother) highly recommend to me a “half hour consultation with a car seat expert”. Apparently, half an hour with this car seat whisperer would forever change the way you install a car seat and keep your baby securely fastened for life. Sounds good, right? The price tag for this half hour consultation? $300. Seriously?! I’ve definitely been in the wrong profession. Call me a negligent parent, but I can’t imagine installing a car seat to be so impossibly difficult that a thorough reading of an instructional manual and a few YouTube videos can’t solve. I feel as though back in my parents’ day, folks just threw their babies in the backseat and hoped for the best. (Hmm, maybe that explains why I turned out this way…sh*t, now I have to hire the car seat whisperer.)
- Why can’t they just make one stroller and one crib and call it a day?! I’ve been doing a ton of research into baby strollers and cribs lately, and holy hell, I feel as though it was easier for me to select a college to attend! Why are there so many options? Do I want a stroller that allows me to add on if I have another child? One with a reversible seat? One with a reclining seat? One that comes with a bassinet? Car seat compatible? Good sun protection? Rain guard? Ahhhh. There are more choices than on the SATs.
- I didn’t come up with this one, but I sure wish I had: “DIAPER spelled backwards is REPAID.” Think about it.
- People keep asking me what I’m craving…and what I really want to tell them is: I’M CRAVING NOT TO BE PREGNANT. Does that make me a bad Mom already?
- J and I have been getting a lot of birth announcements from our friends lately. Is it wrong that every time I see a picture of a Mom proudly presenting her newborn, this image unfailingly comes to mind?